Tuesday, October 28, 2008

on and on I've been waiting on the open invitation...

"And thus we rust Life's iron chain Degraded and alone: And some men curse, and some men weep, And some men make no moan: But God's eternal Laws are kind And break the heart of stone. And every human heart that breaks, In prison-cell or yard, Is as that broken box that gave Its treasure to the Lord, And filled the unclean leper's house With the scent of costliest nard. Ah! happy they whose hearts can break And peace of pardon win! How else may man make straight his plan And cleanse his soul from sin? How else but through a broken heart May Lord Christ enter in? "

I see her as she stands. Her skin fragile, thin, and barely covering her bones. Her ribs poke out her sides and her shoulder blades cut through the thin and bruised the skin around. She was skin and bones. Almost. Skin and bones and hollow eyes. Almost.

The silence screamed out loud, piercing. And she covered her ears. I cringed at the ugly moment, and I wanted to run. Run and hide from the light. Forever.

Her hollow eyes drew the warmth out of me as my heart broke for the girl who was skin and bones. The light exposed it all. Every line, every scar on her body. Every flaw, every imperfection, the light exposed it all. And there she was, standing naked, alone in the light. My heart broke as I saw her standing, staring at the mirror, cowering, not a human no more, but an alien. Exposed. Alone.

The silence screamed out, loud, piercing. And I covered my ears. I cringed at the ugly moment and I wanted to run. Run from the light that exposed everything, and left everything open. Rotten skin opened revealing rotten meat, and the stench reached the pit of my stomach. The ugly rotten stench. I wanted to run. Run and hide from the light. Forever.

The ugly moment where ugliness was revealed, in all its measure. She turned from the mirror and her hollow eyes searched. My eyes met hers and I looked in. Her hollow eyes drew the warmth out of me and my heart broke for the girl who was skin and bones. I stripped naked and walked into the light. The light exposed it all. Every line, every scar on my body. Every flaw, every imperfection, the light exposed it all. And there I was, standing naked, alone in the light. His heart broke as he saw me standing, staring at the mirror, cowering, exposed and alone.

The silence screamed out, loud and piercing and the hammer of God came down. And we were standing alone in the light.

I turned from the mirror to stare at the sun. And in one swift moment, I came undone. Blinded by the brightness, from my ghastly flaws, and in that one swift moment, they all collapsed. In one swift moment I stood between the mirror and the girl who was skin and bones, and in one swift moment she saw all she could be, in one swift action I turned her away to face the day, and in that one moment, she came undone. She came undone.

The silence screamed, loud and piercing and the hammer of God came down. The rays of the sun warmly embraced us creatures of the night and He all at us pulled us up on either side.

"And thus we rust Life's iron chain Degraded and alone: And some men curse, and some men weep, And some men make no moan: But God's eternal Laws are kind And break the heart of stone. And every human heart that breaks, In prison-cell or yard, Is as that broken box that gave Its treasure to the Lord, And filled the unclean leper's house With the scent of costliest nard. Ah! happy they whose hearts can break And peace of pardon win! How else may man make straight his plan And cleanse his soul from sin? How else but through a broken heart May Lord Christ enter in? "

With new eyes I turned to look at her, the girl who used to be skin and bones. Her hollow eyes showed no emptiness, but glory burning from within.

The ugly moment melted away as we stood staring at the sun. The open invitation to come we received, and in that moment, while standing alone in the light, we were not alone. Not at all. He pulled us up, on either side, He never leaves us standing alone in the light.

In my hand I once held my heart, bruise and battered, and in one moment, on swift action, the empty space, that used to sit a heart, that space empty no more now beats, burning bright. And in my hands, where I once held a broken heart, I now hold, His hand.

"And thus we rust Life's iron chain Degraded and alone: And some men curse, and some men weep, And some men make no moan: But God's eternal Laws are kind And break the heart of stone. And every human heart that breaks, In prison-cell or yard, Is as that broken box that gave Its treasure to the Lord, And filled the unclean leper's house With the scent of costliest nard. Ah! happy they whose hearts can break And peace of pardon win! How else may man make straight his plan And cleanse his soul from sin? How else but through a broken heart May Lord Christ enter in? " (Oscar Wilde)

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