Saturday, October 18, 2008

Chasing wind

The sky is grey, not because it was a dark gloomy day, but because the white clouds have spread itself so thinly across the blue blue sky. At the edge of the horizon remains a strip of rich blue, cloudless, and along the outlines of the oblong hill the raspy white clouds surround it White, fluffy and very appealing to the tired who longs for a soft place to rest. I want to climb up to make my bed there and watch the sky change from day to day.

We often ask why the sky is blue, and the answer is always, it reflects the sea, or is it the other way around but anyhow both air, and water are clear...I stood in the middle of the space, alone.

It was time for me to face my father again, my father and the lover of my soul who waits patiently with open arms for me. Ever so patiently he waits and watches, how many tears has he poured out for me, when I turn away to embrace the world who would, time and time again leave me broken, empty and alone.

When will I ever recognise that I must forsake all for Him...for He is the last man standing, He will be the last man standing when all has left me alone. I stand alone in the emptiness again. This time I chose to come to this place. I stripped myself of all and ran to this empty place hoping to find him standing, hoping to run into his embrace and then hoping that this time I will walk away with Him...hoping with all I am, all my heart, and soul, and mind that I will never turn from that face, or run from that embrace.

The wind began to blow as I stand, I allowed the soft arms of the gentle wind to caress my face, it undid the knot of my scarf and my scarf lifted to follow its bidding. I chased. As I chased the wind picked up its speed, and I chased and ran, until I reached the edge of a cliff. I reached to catch my scarf but it was too late, the wind stopped and dropped my scarf into the ocean beneath. I stopped and stared out at the cliff before me. The wind, flirted and played with me, for its own leisure and fun, ignorant, disregarding my safety. I folded my arms and sulked.

Why do you chase the wind my sweet one?

His voice gentle, still and yet clear. I remember once again why I came to that empty place. How could I forget.

Why do you chase the wind?

I turned to see the face that belonged to that voice. No face, no face to be found. I turned to search, and I sought and I sought. I longed deeper and deeper for those arms to embrace me, again.

Why do you chase the wind?

I closed my eyes and whispered back. I am sorry.

Why do you chase the wind? It shall not be found by you.

I stood silently. The sense that He stood near stilled me.

What do you seek my child?

I quietened my thoughts and unloaded my heart to get down to the deepest depth possible. I want truth to be told. Cleanse my heart.

What do you seek my child?

And the words rang loud and clear from my mouth, I want to find you. I fell back into the hold of the white fluffy cloud that surrounds me and His hands gently touched my cheeks. I stood still so to not loose that moment. I was once again in His warm embrace. This time I hope forever. Seek me my child, seek me and I shall be found by you. I shall be found by you.

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